I'm being transparent, I wanted to quit.

When I decided to become a triathlete, I subscribed to every social media feed I could find with hopes of people excited to help me simply because I was "becoming one of them." Now that I think about this, I realize how ridiculous it was to think that. I mean there is certainly an level of arrogance amongst athletes in general, but if you're competing in 3 sports in one day...good gawd folks are a tad bit worse...IMO. I mean I've had folks ignore questions that I had in different groups. Folks have suggested that because I am not loyal to a certain brand gear that this somehow diminishes my self worth...REALLY???

Anyway, today was one of those days where I truly felt like the last kid being picked for a team in gym class. I had decided that I would leave all triathlon FB groups and focus on cycling. I mean why not embrace the sport where the people I've met have been so helpful. No one made me feel like I was asking stupid questions when I asked. Men, women, black, white... everyone truly seemed happy that I was riding my bike and willing to share all they knew about cycling.  Please don't misunderstand, I have met some very supportive triathletes and appreciate what they have offered and I was not expecting everyone to be helpful, but dang. (I now realize that I was allowing those bad apples to spoil the bunch.)  It was at this point that I had made up my mind that I no longer needed a coach. I no longer wanted to compete in a triathlon any longer than a sprint. I decided I was going to devote my time to becoming a strong cyclist. 

Since my mind was made up, I did not feel the need to share my feelings with Dorian, Michelle, Valerie, or Clarissa; these are my "people" and I share with them when I start to doubt myself. I knew they would listen and then share reasons why I need to keep pursuing triathlon; hell Clarissa would likely post three words that would have me reconsidering my decision. I did not want to reconsider. 

As I prepared to call Richard I received a text that Cassie had just crossed the 10k mark during the Rock n Roll Las Vegas half marathon and I saw this post...

I can't blame Clarissa, this is more than three words...lol. 

  

I immediately shared the post on FB and I replayed today's Deepak and Oprah meditation to listen to the centering thought..."Fulling my dreams fulfills my spirit."  I smiled and wrote this blog. 

One of my dreams...goals...whatever you want to call it is to complete the races on my calendar; IM 70.3 Augusta will be the grand finale for 2015. I cannot allow negativity to invade my spirit to the point it makes feel like I should not do...cannot do what I have planned for myself. I'm sure when some "negative Ned or Nellie" reads this, they will have something to say. What I say to you, remember you were new once and stop being an ass.

I did not call Richard. I will not quit. 

  

Embracing MY Influence

Frequently, I receive messages from family, friends, and acquaintances who have shared my weight loss/fitness/emotional and spiritual growth journey, telling me "LaWanda you inspire me." Because of negative self talk, (you know the voices in your head that make you feel like you are not worthy) I would actually feel embarrassed and discount what they said. Sure, I would say thank you and offer words of encouragement to them to start their own journey, but in my head I wondered "how in THE HELL am I an inspiration?' I was simply this overweight, emotionally labile chick who has learned to love different forms of exercise and make better food choices...most of the time.

One morning while scrolling through facebook an update from one of my favorite blogs, "Three Words Daily," appeared on my timeline... "Accept Your Influence." This post spoke to me because I had recently completed my first sprint triathlon and the support, not only from my family, but from people I "met" via social media who came out to support me was OVERWHELMING. In my mind it was a big deal, but these other folks had completed iron distance races and they were celebrating my "little ole sprint." I thought, maybe I do "inspire" people.

Fast forward to this blog entry on November 14, 2014 (Happy birthday, Ma), I am embracing my influence with the birth of "Running Cycle Water Lillie." Why that name? Well, I asked my husband to help me; he's creative and knows me. When he shared the name, I loved it. It fit my quirky personality. It incorporated my granny-Lillie Mae Pryor (my guarding angel), and it incorporates my three favorite activities...Running, Cycling, and Swimming. Not to mention, after researching the what the flower represents (there are several), I thought it was perfect.  That's it. That's all.

So there it is, the birth of Running Cycling Water Lillie. I certainly hope you join me on my journey and feel inspired along the way to "Embrace Your Influence."

Don't forget to check out and support my friend, Clarissa Mitchell and her blog, "Three Words Daily" at http://www.threewordsdaily.com/